http://therobotmommy.com/halloween-humbug-please-spare-us-the-cute-bumblebee-babies/

Posted by on October 27, 2014

I adore Cordelia of Multilingual Mama. When I asked for some snark regarding Halloween (which I love), she was the first to come calling. Here is her guest post about saving Halloween traditions for when your kids are a bit older. Read it all because she brings up some REALLY GOOD POINTS about Halloween with little ones. Oh, the horror….

Of all the holidays we must partake in, I think parents with kids aged newborn to five-yr-olds should simply opt out of Halloween. First off, most of us don’t believe in ghosts but for those of us who do, what kind of dire mojo are we exuding since we want to scare spirits away? Our neighbors over in Mexico put on a feast and a party for their spirits, which sounds like a lot more fun to me.

At the risk of being a massive party pooper, here are my top five reasons to delay celebrating Halloween for as long as possible:

1. Sacred Sugar: This is a holiday specifically aimed at purchasing and consuming as much refined sugar as possible. That I would even need to explain why this is a bad idea boggles the mind.

2. Sugar again: They can’t (or shouldn’t) eat (bucket loads of) sweets. And by most mommy pages I read, we are all trying to lay off the sweets too so why collect four or five pounds of the stuff only to feel shitty every time you pop a mini-mars or handful of candy corn in your mouth?

3. Costumes: I am not saying babies don’t look cute dressed up as little pumpkins but here’s the thing: babies look cute wrapped up in a dish towel. Why add to the insane holiday consumerism, waste of natural resources, and potential superfluous spending on a costume you’ll probably use once, maybe twice?

4. Conserve Energy:
Save your enthusiasm for when it counts. You are going to have plenty of years to dress the kid up and traipse them from house to house so conserve your energy and costume creativity for a time when they will actually remember it. You will also need energy when they are creating their own costumes, either begging them not to scare the toddlers of parents who didn’t read this post with scary ghoulish masks or begging them not to dress up as the not-so-snow-white turned hooker to the seven dwarves.

5. Tears NOT of joy.
Let’s say your neighbor pinterest-crafted some fruit juice gummies and you inherited a free second hand costume. And in lieu of ambling around the neighborhood collecting compliments on your darling lady bugged offspring (Shhhh but they are just being polite and really couldn’t care less), you decide to meet up for healthy-ish playdate with cute friends in costumes to take pictures for Grand-ma and grand-pa.

Behold the tears and tantrums. People may have looked at me funny for bringing my kid dressed as herself but she was the only one who stayed dry-eyed and smiling throughout the festivities. Meanwhile, little Susie and Samatha, whose parents were insisting on just one picture with the pumpkin or buzzing bee hat, issued blood curdling screams suitable for a Nightmare on Elm Street.

This has been your Public Service Announcement from the Halloween Scrooge over at Multilingual Mama.

Find her at Multilingual Mama and among the amazing writers at BLUNTmoms

t.r.m.

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Comments

  1. Zoë
    October 27, 2014

    You scrooge! Listen, if I have to nurse my <1yo baby 3 times a night, you can be sure that I will stuff her into a tiny chili pepper costume and sit on my front stoop with her when Halloween comes. Having my cute baby admired by all the neighbors is one of the few privileges of parenting a small child. I've dressed up both my children every year since they were born. I don't care if they want it or not! It's entertainment for me. And when it comes to consumerism, I think Christmas is a lot more over-the-top than anything Halloween can produce.

    Don't call child protective services yet, though. I do take a hard line on candy (just a few pieces, and the rest goes in the trash or my mouth), and kids can take off the costume whenever they want, as long as I get a few pictures in first.

  2. Multilingual Mama
    October 27, 2014

    Haha, I’d love to see a chili pepper costume! And yes, agreed about Christmas but I stand firm on cute babies are cute with a sock on their heads. Maybe we could combine Halloween and Christmas by dressing them as Christmas stockings…since all the Christmas gear is out in force by October nowadays anyway! Enjoy your candy corn booty!

  3. Rabia Lieber (@MamaRabia)
    October 27, 2014

    We did the first when she was a baby because it was cute and we were first time parents. After that the younger ones went because the older ones were ready. It’s not like we could leave them home and go collect candy without them! I do donate most of our haul to the college students I work with, though!

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