Levels Of Pissed Off Parent -The Clean House Edition

Dear Children Of The Modern World, 

Your life is tough. It’s a wonder you have the strength to get out of bed so a parent can make your tired ass some breakfast. Then you have to go to school and follow rules. Once you get home to follow more rules, you just want someone to help you make it through the day. AMIRITE?!? It can be a nightmare. 

You poor thing. 

Don’t you wish there was a guideline to figure things out..starting with your parent’s mood swings?? I mean, they are cray-cray!! So…

…. if you have ever wondered if it was safe to approach your mom or dad when they seem to be a bit off, I have created some visual aids to use in case you are just not sure.  





Tape these to your fridge. Post it on your memo board. Print them out and don’t lose them. 

Trust me. Your life will be 100x easier almost instantly. For serious. 

Good luck and watch those loose bodily fluids..


A pretty pissed off parent. 


Judgment Day

I’m sitting on my heating pad once again because my back is screaming at me louder than my kids ever do. I’m debating on whether I binge watch Pretty Little Liars or just put FRIENDS on and scroll through my Facebook feed for hours. 

I’m avoiding things that I should be doing instead of just getting it done. Maybe it’s my back talking but I’m getting pretty annoyed by all the ugliness I see on the Internet lately. 

I find myself getting absorbed in link after link of topics like Mommy War fights, hate and contempt, breastfeeding, NOT breastfeeding, vaccinations, SAHDs, feminism…a whole lot of talking and criticism and not a whole lot of discussion. No one talk anymore. We just judge others. I don’t want to get caught up in the judging but that’s what happens, you know. 

You see the title. You click the link. You get caught up. I get so caught up. 

I’ll read the comments. You should never read the comments. It’ll trigger me emotionally. I’ll feel compelled to respond. Sometimes I do respond. Afterward, I feel dirty and empty. I didn’t make a positive impact. I just judged someone. 

I see it being said over and over again that we need to make all this parent judging go away. Raise your child as it fits within your family. Unless you are starving them, beating them, neglecting them or avoiding any and all problems, I’m pretty sure that you are parenting the best way that works for you. 

When I read those article links, I’m over here yelling at my screen about the mom that got thrown out of a restaurant for breastfeeding public. I’m standing up for the dads fighting for diaper changing stations in their restrooms. I’m crying right now about how I’m may or may not be bringing up narcissistic children even though I thought I was doing a pretty good job not doing that. I get connected personally in the person writing these articles and whether I want it to or not, I’m emotionally involved. 

If judging is something that’s engrained inside all of us, then so be it. Fine. If you really can’t help it, you’ll just let it out. But before you judge, step in that person’s place. Open your mind and think about being where they are. Their family. Their children. Their life up to this point. If you honestly know all the facts involved on how their world and perspective came to make their decision, then go be judgy. It won’t make you feel better even you think it will. Judgment comes back to you. And it comes back hard. 

You judge a parent by the way they talk to their son in a store, you are NOT that parent. You don’t know them. You don’t know their story. You are NOT TELEPHATIC. So, just shut it. 

See? Now I’m just as guilty. 

I just judged you judging someone else. Feels like emptiness and hate. It’s ugly and it makes me sick inside. I want to apologize to you because I don’t want that to be the woman my parents raised. The woman my husband fell in love with. The woman my kids look up to. 

Now that you’ve judged another, how do you feel? Better? Satisfied? Think that after your words are out that it’ll make a difference? What if you could talk to the person who wrote the article? What if you could see their house? Live their life for a day? Think you would still judge that person the same? It’s not my sole purpose to tell you how to feel. I don’t control that. I only can control me. 

And where does it stop? Fat-shaming, non-organic eating, wearing black on the third Thursday of the month…when do we just chill, be quiet and take care of our own shit we got going on? 

I’m going to avoid my personal Facebook page for today. Maybe I’ll go back tomorrow and scroll through my news feed. If I click on any of the article links, I’ll try and remember…

Just don’t read the comments. You’ll feel better. 


10 Years Later and He’s Still My Lobster

13  years together, 10 years as husband and wife, 2 crazy adorable kids later…

I’d say “I do” all over again. 


The 5-3-2 Rule In Our House

Ask any parent what they wish they could manage better in their household and I’m sure they’d say their children. 

Be more specific and I’ll bet you a bunch of wadded wet dollars that they’d love to change the wasteful habit. Wasting food, wasting water, wasting household supplies. Even more specific, the wastefulness of toilet paper. 


According to this website, the average amount of t.p. used in an American household for 5 days is one roll. The average amount of sheets used per person per day is 57. 

Clearly, no one asked my family and/or everyone that took this survey was seriously lowballing their answers. 

57, my fancy ass. My kids will use 57 sheets per trip to the loo if I’m not policing them. 

I hate spending $40 per month (oh, yes, you read that right) on toilet paper. Maybe we purchased the not-so-cheap-brand but I still have nightmares involving t.p. in my public school bathroom. It could’ve been used to re-drywall the school gym. It would be more comfortable wiping my butt with my… But I digress. 

I needed to make a serious change in habits after yelling at my son again for taking the spinning paper roll for a ride and letting our $$$ cascade down to the ground, much like my tears during tax season. 

Okay, we are trying something new today. It’s called the 5-3-2 rule and you are going to master it right now 

My son looked at me with the sadness that only a child could muster with the realization that mommy isn’t going to wipe his tushy anymore. 


No way, dude. It’ll be easy. Promise. 
First, you roll out 5 sheets of paper and fold them in half…then, you wipe.
Look at it.  
If it’s not clean, which it won’t be, you fold it again from the edges. Be careful not to touch your smear and then wipe your booty once more. 

“This is gross, Mom.”

I’m well aware. Now let’s continue: If it’s still not clean, toss it in the toilet bowl and grab 3 more sheets. Fold and wipe. Not clean? Fold, Wipe, Repeat. 

At this point, he is paying stoic attention. Like he didn’t want to forget and have to repeat the lesson. It was amazing. 

Lastly, if you are still not clean, and I mean it, YOU NEED TO SEE that there is NO POOP ON THE PAPER AT ALL. If you are still wiping dirty, grab 2 more sheets and follow the previous steps. 

I stood there watching him listen and do as he was told until we both saw a clean wipe. We followed up with some serious hand washing sans the running water (another pet peeve but I’ll save that for another day) and repeated the rules. 5-3-2. No more than 10 sheets should be required to get him clean(er) and his underwear (more than it was) skid-mark free. 

Am I optimist? You bet!! It’ll take some reminding and follow up but so does most things lately. The girl is next for a lesson. I think her biggest obstacle is not so much the wiping part but the counting of sheets part. Just the other day, she told me that the 14 pieces of cereal in front of her was 1, 2, 4, 7, 5!…so, yeah. I have some work to do. 

Who knows if this rule will take affect and become a permanent and welcome change in our household habits. Only my back account will know for sure. 
But think of it, less t.p. waste AND less scrubbing of the skivvies. 

I can see the parenting bliss horizon now. 


Why I’m Making My Own Fabric For DIY Projects.

I’m a sewing novice. I’ve had my machine for less than 2 years and I still get fumbled at basic projects…but I love doing it and I’m learning how to be better everyday. It’s my relaxing hobby, definitely more relaxing when there’s less fumbling. 

Since I started sewing, I’ve created my own Etsy shop. It contains projects that I thought would be cute even if no one else really thinks so. The one thing that makes being creative and owning a shop difficult is trying to keep your items one of a kind. Thanks to Zazzle I can now create one of a kind items because the fabric I use is my own design!!

This “bite me” photo was created by me during the holidays and thought it would make a great stuffed ornament. Because Zazzle allows tile design as a selection for making your own fabric, I made the section approximately 4 inches by 2 1/2 inches. I was given the selection of polyester, cotton, etc. I chose the cotton fabric to use for future items.

Here’s how I put together my mini stuffy ornament:

First, I cut out the photos on the fabric, giving plenty of room to sew the sides (in case of error and I have to go back and redo it).

Now, lay them back to back…IMG_1121.JPG



After stitching the sides and bottom, stuff it!!


Now, I could just easily add some ribbon and end the project there but I have plans for my little ornament..

Because I have buttons and nothing is cuter than a button!

I sewed the top by hand instead of using the machine. I feel this gave me more control with the ribbon and button that I was attaching.

Final result?? Adorable!! IMG_1122.JPGI’m making plans to bust these out in groups to sell on my Etsy shop. You can attach them to your tree, presents, your grandma’s doorknob. WHEREVER!! Next time, I’m might use them as drawer sachet. A lavender scented “Bite Me” sachet. HA!!

 A big thank you to Zazzle for allowing me to create my own fabric for this project. The fabric was great to work with. No fraying and easy to manipulate.

Do you make your own sewing projects? Could you use a website to create your own design on fabrics for items you like to sew? Comment below with your thoughts!!


Blogger’s Note: I’m part of the team of bloggers that writes reviews for Zazzle and their products. While I received the fabric from Zazzle to create this project, my opinions are my own…but for real, LOOK HOW ADORABLE THIS STUFFY ORNAMENT IS!!!!!