Choices or “The Coin Toss”

2 children.

One is guilty.

Time for making choices.

A broken bowl. Inexpensive but one of my favorites. I’m really pissed off and want the truth. I can’t handle the truth. It not about the bowl. It’s the principle.

They stand there looking up at me. Both on the defense. Both whining. My children have crossed the proverbial line with bullshit like…

I didn’t touch it!


I didn’t even look at it!

Ridiculous Denial

You should’ve never put candy in it, Mom!

Redirection of Blame

It was ugly anyway.

Words To Make Me Lose My Shit.

I’m torn between anger and complete freak out. Over a bowl.
The morbid thought that entered my mind was of that scene in “Sophie’s Choice” where Glenn Close had to choose between her children.
That was more life and death. This is about a stupid, replaceable bowl.
It was then that I calmed the fuck down.

Guys, answer me this? Were you throwing a toy that I asked you not to?

In unison, “yes”.

Then the toy is now mine. How are we going to fix the bowl situation? I can’t put it back together. So, you must work off the chore of cleaning it up since the pieces can cut you and I don’t want you hurt. I’ll be picking up my bowl. You will be dusting and vacuuming this room after I’m done. Who will dust and who will vacuum?

Both talk at once. I already know who is going to do what. I hush them.

No, I’m letting the coin decide. Heads, CP vacuums. Tails, Hallie dusts.

“Okay”, in unison.

Are you both responsible for the bowl breaking?


What do you need to do now?

“Say sorry”

and dust and vaccuum. Get to it.

I headed to Etsy to see if I could replace the bowl while my kids cleaned house or realistically, move around the dust and push dirt on the carpet back and forth. They aren’t cleaners.
But that wasn’t the point, right?

The best part?
I didn’t have to make a choice.


I Blame My Children

I’ve been losing sleep for 7 years now.
I comes with the parenting territory.

I blame my children.

When I was pregnant, it was rubbing my tummy with a mixture of joy and holy crap, there’s a human inside me that I’m responsible for!!
I’m a freaking worry-savant.
Worry is my permanent face.

I blame my children.
Now that they are older, my ulcers have ulcers. My skin breaks out when they slam their toes in the door. 20140720-202418-73458396.jpg
I think about injury or death at least once a day even if they go without harming themselves.
I think about them when they aren’t in the room that they are not breathing correctly. I have panic attacks over them finding my lost sewing needles with their eyeballs. You know, because they like to drag their faces across the rug sometimes.

My ridiculous fears. I blame my children.

If I hadn’t birthed them, I’d be caught up on all my shows I ever watched. Now if I’m lucky, I watch TV at midnight because, you know, I’m wide awake, worrying.

No sleep. Dark eye circles.
I blame my children.

Stupid weight gain from finishing their ice creams. Baking cupcakes to see them smile and then watch them get mad when they fall apart in their hands.
Hissy fits that I have in my closet with airplane bottles of vodka. I blame my children.

There’s fucking dried up play dough EVERYWHERE!!
I have a vacuum and a back-up, just in case.
I blame my children.

I step on LEGOS and want to die.

I blame my %#^* children.

No sleep. Weight gain. Anxiety skin issues. A heart full of exploding love.

A life I never knew I wanted until those crazies showed up.
However, my skin may never heal.

I blame my children.


Your Steam Cleaner Needs Love Too

With your family spending more time going outside during the warm summer days, your carpets could need some love. Here’s a few tips about how to keep your steam cleaner and your home happy and healthy.

How to Keep Your Steam Cleaner in Tip-Top Condition

There are certain accessories around the home that are excellent devices to aid in regular maintenance tasks. Steam cleaners are revolutionary cleaning accessories that disinfect and kill germs in no time at all. Although these machines were only able to be utilised by trained professionals in the past, modern technology has allowed the homeowner to enjoy the numerous benefits that such cleaners will offer. Regularly maintaining these units is a key to their longevity and effectiveness. Let’s take a look at some easy steps to be taken.

Draining the Reservoir

Steam cleaners will normally use a combination of water and a detergent. The chemicals from this detergent can build up in the unit over time; causing excess wear and tear and even a blockage. Draining the tank after each use is an excellent way to help prevent this from happening.

Removing Scale

Almost all household water contains elements such as calcium and magnesium. Otherwise known as hard water, their buildup within the cleaner can lead to a condition known as “scaling”. In other words, some of the moving parts will become coated with these substances. It is best to prevent this from occurring whenever possible. Every few months, place a mixture of baking soda and warm water (one unit of baking soda for every ten units of water) inside the cleaner. Allow it to sit in the tank for a few hours and then use the machine as you would normally. After a few minutes, turn the cleaner off and allow it to cool down for another two hours. Finally, drain the tank. This will help to eliminate scaling.

Physical Inspections

We must never forget that a steam cleaner is an electrical mechanism. As recent studies have shown that a lack of safety has placed millions at risk, it is essential that you make sure your device is free from defects. These include water leaks, frayed wires and blocked intake vents.

Following these tips can not only guarantee that your steam cleaner will last a long time, but that it will continue to operate under safe and satisfactory conditions.


Too Scared.

She grabs my hand as I walk out of my room.

Mom, I need you.

Why, honey?

I’m scared.

What are you scared of?


And so has been my life lately.
What the hell happened to my kids?

For days…no, weeks the bots have been scared to be without me. I have to accompany them everywhere. Their bedrooms. The bathroom. Down the hall. Nothing in our routine has changed. Nobody watched The Shining without me knowing about it. I think.
They are breaking off my arms. Go to the hallway with me, mom! Go with me to my room, MOM!

I seems as though something haunting and evil has become visual to my kids that my husband and I can’t see.
Is that possible?
In the meantime, we’ve tried turning on lights (doesn’t work), having them accompany each other (sometimes works), forcing them to just go on their own (lots of screaming with this one) and, the inevitable, going. with. them.
Have you experienced the case of the “fraidies”? Do you have any advice?

My very independent children have been replaced with needy clingy kids.



Who Needs A Drink? #LolailoSangria

I’ll give you three reasons why summertime rocks:

1) Warm nights
2) Patio dining
3) Worn out children from all-day swimming and water play.

The first two should be paired with something tasty. Like Sangria. Good Sangria. 20140715-170846-61726731.jpg
When the nice people at Lolailo offered me a sample, (white or red? White, please) I couldn’t say no. Would you say no?!?!

It’s Sangria…in the summertime. It’s like a chance to film a pool party commercial at home. I was very excited to be chosen by Lolailo

Not too sweet, pairs well with peaches and apples (I froze them and put them in my glass) and the drink was perfect for a warm evening outside on the patio. I’ll be enjoying the red with friends.

Check out their website for locations to purchase or order. Also, they have recipes to make enjoying your Sangria even better.

Excuse me while I finish this during the sunset.


Blogger’s Note: Thanks to the wonderful people at Lolailo for sending me a sample to try and for California law allowing them to ship it to my house.